Am I going CRAZYYY???

Unfortunately, when we went in on Monday for our routine visit we got the depressing news that I was still not dilated or anything. The only change is that she was a bit lower than the week before. I was so upset because after being very active all weekend I just knew something would be going on down there. But, nothing was. So after being depressed all day and sad I finally started to perk back up the next day. I had not slept well since the Tuesday night before and so we all know how your emotions can be crazy when you are running on only a few hours of sleep. So after getting over the depression I started coming to terms that this baby was not going to be here until the week of my due date and that I needed to except it and move on. So that is what I did. I actually slept well that Monday night for the first time in over a week. Then on Wednesday night I woke up around 11:30 and went to the bathroom and then tried to go back to sleep but I could not sleep for anything. So I decided to get on the couch so I would not wake up Justin. After getting on the couch I started feeling very strange and realized that I thought I might be having some sort of contractions. I noticed I was getting an extreme pushing sensation and when that was happening my stomach was rock hard and I could not breathe. So this continued on for hours. You read all these labor signs and your Doctor tells you all the signs to watch for but you are just never sure if that is what you are truly feeling. So after a long long night I finally fell asleep for an hour or so before I had to get up to get ready for work. So after consulting with Justin, my sister, and mother-in-law I decided to call the Doctor even though all my symptoms had stopped. They told me that since they had stopped that everything was fine and gave me some tips on things to do if this happened again and the Doctor's office was closed. They offered to let me come in but I declined knowing that it was probably just really bad Braxton Hicks. So after being at work for a little bit all my symptoms from the night before started again and a new symptom of shooting pains started as well. So after dealing with this all day I broke down and decided that I thought I needed to be seen to just make sure I was not in true labor. So I went in and saw the on call Doctor and after speaking with the nurse she was convinced that it was a big possibility that I was going to be admitted and having a baby! We started getting excited but trying to not get our hopes up too much! After seeing the Doctor she was convinced as well I was in labor but the only problem was is that I was not dilated! She could not believe it after I had been having all of those symptoms for so long! So she decided to run some more tests, ordered an ultrasound, and decided to monitor me for 30 minutes to see if I was having anymore contractions. So after all the tests everything came back normal and it was determined that I was in false labor! BOOO! I was so sad! But what can you do?!?! So I am scheduled to go back to my routine visit on Monday at 8:30 and hoping for good news! I have a lot to talk with my Doctor on Monday. I am having a lot of concerns and anxiety about all of this and I can not take anymore sleepless nights. Since my episode on Thursday I have pretty much felt back to normal. I slept great for the first time on Thursday night. Friday night I again had a sleepless night due to back pain. So I am praying, hoping, and wishing my little one will decide to come soon. Like i said before i am having a lot of anxiety about having to have a c-section and that my angel is going to be too big! I just know all the horror stories and do not want them to happen to me. I hate not having 100% control of this situation and that is what is making me so anxious. So I can not wait until Monday to sit down and express all of my concerns with my Doctor. I hope she eases my mind and will come up with a plan for me that involves this baby coming soon!

STAY TUNED FOLKS!!